Merriam-Webster's online dictionary offers as one of its definitions for closure:
"an often comforting or satisfying sense of finality <victims needing closure>; also : something (as a satisfying ending) that provides such a sense."
When I suffered a loss I knew I needed closure yet to me that meant that I needed to move from my suffering to a place of acceptance not to a place of ending. Physical death is an ending because when someone or something such as a pet dies once taken away it can no longer be physically touched. That in no way would be a satisfying ending for me. I'd only see a "satisfied ending" relative if it was a piece of trash. Comforting on the other hand could apply in regards to trying to find comfort because of the loss but not from the loss.
Victims need closure because unless they can rid themselves from the mental replay of the event {even if the perpetrator is brought to justice} they will be tormented repeatedly n endlessly. In this instance ending is appropiate.
A bit confusing I admit, albeit here's my point.
My belief is that closure is whatever the bereaved needs in order to heal the hurt of the loss. Thus, grieving is very individualize.
No one knows when grief might show up,because life is a series of unknows. Personally, my worse fears revolve around the unknown. When something is happening I am much better at handling it as opposed to not knowing what to expect. The reason I have learned to handle anxiety/worry with trusting that "thy will be done", everything is meant to be etc. philosophy. So in the meantime a very important lesson....Love, be grateful, and more importantly demonstrate both to those you Love everyday. I still kiss n hug all my "adult kids" goodbye every time I see them....just in case.
If you lose someone due to death, a broken heart or the ending to anything reach out for help before it gets worse.
Sincerely in Spirit,
Sharon
The following is something I wrote when I realized I was grieving from an unfulfilled relationship.
THE LAST TIME
copyright © Aug. 21, 1999 Sharon Fisher
I don't remember
the last time
we had an intimate conversation
shared our hopes n dreams
or revealed personal feelings.
I don't remember
the last time
I reached to touch your hand,
or walked over n wrapped my arms around you
or spoke aloud "I love you".
I do remember
the last time
I wished I had apologized
for the hurt I've caused
from needing you
when you weren't there
to fill my voids.
lacking strength
to express myself
I do remember
the last time
I saw your handsome face
so serene n forgiving.
THE LAST TIME
as the lid to your coffin
CLOSED.
"an often comforting or satisfying sense of finality <victims needing closure>; also : something (as a satisfying ending) that provides such a sense."
When I suffered a loss I knew I needed closure yet to me that meant that I needed to move from my suffering to a place of acceptance not to a place of ending. Physical death is an ending because when someone or something such as a pet dies once taken away it can no longer be physically touched. That in no way would be a satisfying ending for me. I'd only see a "satisfied ending" relative if it was a piece of trash. Comforting on the other hand could apply in regards to trying to find comfort because of the loss but not from the loss.
Victims need closure because unless they can rid themselves from the mental replay of the event {even if the perpetrator is brought to justice} they will be tormented repeatedly n endlessly. In this instance ending is appropiate.
A bit confusing I admit, albeit here's my point.
My belief is that closure is whatever the bereaved needs in order to heal the hurt of the loss. Thus, grieving is very individualize.
No one knows when grief might show up,because life is a series of unknows. Personally, my worse fears revolve around the unknown. When something is happening I am much better at handling it as opposed to not knowing what to expect. The reason I have learned to handle anxiety/worry with trusting that "thy will be done", everything is meant to be etc. philosophy. So in the meantime a very important lesson....Love, be grateful, and more importantly demonstrate both to those you Love everyday. I still kiss n hug all my "adult kids" goodbye every time I see them....just in case.
If you lose someone due to death, a broken heart or the ending to anything reach out for help before it gets worse.
Sincerely in Spirit,
Sharon
The following is something I wrote when I realized I was grieving from an unfulfilled relationship.
THE LAST TIME
copyright © Aug. 21, 1999 Sharon Fisher
I don't remember
the last time
we had an intimate conversation
shared our hopes n dreams
or revealed personal feelings.
I don't remember
the last time
I reached to touch your hand,
or walked over n wrapped my arms around you
or spoke aloud "I love you".
I do remember
the last time
I wished I had apologized
for the hurt I've caused
from needing you
when you weren't there
to fill my voids.
lacking strength
to express myself
I do remember
the last time
I saw your handsome face
so serene n forgiving.
THE LAST TIME
as the lid to your coffin
CLOSED.
